Four Ways to Control the Need to Be Liked

One of a leader’s biggest pitfalls is succumbing to the need to be liked. If you are so focused on approval from others, you will never be able to make decisions that are best for your team. There are two elements that affect this need to be liked: recognizing your own weaknesses that make you lack self confidence/require affirmation AND eliminating the ability of others to get inside your head and affect the opinion you have of yourself. 

We like to refer to this phenomenon as “renting space out in your head” to someone else. It is incredibly common but thankfully can be overcome. Your heart and mind were made completely individually…there is literally no one else like you. When you are not being your authentic self, you spend time creating a person other people expect you to be and it is exhausting. 

So, what can you do? We have four things to keep in mind that will help you keep the thoughts of perceptions of others out of your brain so you can live your best life as YOU. 

1. Remember, what other people are thinking about you is actually none of your business. And that is because you can almost never change someone’s opinion or the story they are telling themselves about you. It is so beyond your control that worrying about it is absolutely the biggest time waster out there.
   
2. It is easy to let other people’s obligations and their “shoulds” influence your own life. They are on their path and what is right for them will not be right for what is uniquely yours. Don’t let them “should” on your journey.
   
3. The more comfortable I am in my own skin, the more successful I am because I am being my truest self. We all were given unique gifts and abilities that when put to task will enable us to fulfill our highest potential. So, let those gifts shine independently of anything anyone else has to say.
   
4. Your life becomes fun when you live as the “original” you were born to be. Leaning into the value that comes from your difference brings you a sense of joy and purpose. Don’t be a copy of someone else…be YOU. 

Ultimately, we want you to live a fun-filled life and not a drama-full life, which happens when you let the opinions of others direct your thoughts. Stop renting out space in your head and start living your authentic identity. We believe in you!