How you focus determines how you feel. That means what I am feeling right now is a by-product of what I am currently focusing on.  This is awesome news because I don’t have to be a victim to my feelings.  I can change my focus and my feelings will follow!

Don’t focus on how you could have done it different. When you’ve reached this point there is nothing you can do about it anyway. Focus on currently what’s going well.  I am convinced no matter what situation you’re in, there is something good you can focus on.  You’re in charge of your focus, so take charge!

I’ve discovered that I not only can think my way into new behavior but i can also behave myself into a new way of thinking. Begin to simply behave in the way that relaxed people do.  When I’m in these situations I try to behave like a relaxed person.  I smile, chuckle a bit and take deep slow breaths. When you learn to calm your breathing, you can calm your thoughts.

The quality of the questions you ask yourself determine the quality of your life. When you’re in the midst of the situation ask yourself, “what’s going well?” or “what’s the next step?”  By controlling the questions you ask yourself, you are actually controlling your thinking.  Don’t ask yourself questions like, “Why does this always happen to me?” or “Why didn’t I make a better decision?”  Honestly, there aren’t good answers to these questions anyway, so stop asking yourself bad questions.  When you get a new question, you get a new perspective.